Goodbye 2019, welcome 2020!

I thought 2019 had sucked. When the last of the year came around, I was more than ready to say “go to hell, 2019!”.

I didn’t have great hopes for 2020, but, for me, the idea of leaving this past year behind was enough. 2019 was the year a person very dear to me, that I really care about, was diagnosed with a terminal disease. It was the year some family issues got worse and almost broke my family apart; the year most of my team at work was fired or left and I had to say goodbye. It was also the year my company almost “sold” me to a sister company for a higher, crazier and stressful role, while I was handling an important and incredibly complex client. It was the year that most pushed me close to wanting to scream at people and quit my job and realize that I am not and never will be “good enough”.

When December 31st rolled about, I was thinking of all this stuff and being eager to leave it behind. I felt like 2019 had left me nothing but pain, trouble and a lack of energies for all I love and care about.

While I was in the arms of the person above, I realized I was wrong.

Continue reading “Goodbye 2019, welcome 2020!”

Hello readers!

Long time no see. I don’t know if any of you wondered what happened to me and who kidnapped me (most of you likely know I’m alive because you’ve seen me causing havoc at Anna’s once in a while): I wasn’t kidnapped and yes, obviously I’m still alive.

I had three extremely tough months in a school that works a bit like a bootcamp. They pulled us straight out of our comfort zone the first day and we haven’t spotted it since: I’ve had late working night (up until 5 am), one project after another, companies kicking my ass, educational specialists kicking my ass, professors kicking my ass and so on…in a way I think I’m coming out of this stronger than I was…in another I must admit I am overly tired and stressed out, which some of you already know as when I’m stressed I am particularly…”hard to handle” (sorry girls).

In all of this…I’ve missed you terribly. I miss writing, I miss causing trouble and being a brat. The levels of stress I went through have taken down almost totally my “toppy side”: I guess feeling constantly tired, lost, under pressure and like I need to prove myself have just made my need for someone to take control and just hug me and repeat me that it’s ok and I’m doing ok and I’m going to be fine rise to the stars – and above.

It is amusing how feelings in TTWD change depending on where you are in your life and what’s happening to you. Not surprising, cause I guess it’s an understandable fact, but yes amusing. You tend to underestimate how much things might change in just a few weeks. Do you know what I mean? Did you ever feel like this?

Enough with my rambling!

As you may have noticed, I made a bit of restyling on my blog, I was tired of all those words and I needed some more pictures. Now it all looks giant and I have to get used to it, but I hope it’s still a nice change for you all. I also gave it a little Xmas streak since we’re getting close to it.

I cross my fingers hoping I will be able to write and publish stories again. You have faith. I plan of definitely having something around Christmas. If I’m late…either remind me with a swat or be extremely patient with me (you choose which option would work best).

In all cases, I hope you decide to stay: I would definitely miss you if you left.

That said, how are you all doing recently? Are you being good? Gosh, I hope not because I don’t want to feel lonely on Santa’s naughty list!