Of Spring and Hope

As most of you hopefully know, these are tough, trying times.

I have been even more absent than usual because of all the implications this pandemic is having, both in terms of being busy (I still work, only from home as I’m quarantined) and of emotional downs and distress.

The country I live in (Italy) is one of the most hit and we’re going through a lot. Too many people dying (the numbers make my head spin every night and they say we’re not even at the “peak” yet) and so many more being isolated, separated from their families and friends, scared and feeling powerless, if not for what little we can do:

  • Stay home (as much as we can, avoid contact as much as possible, go out only to grocery/medications-shop if we can’t book a home-delivery)
  • Stay safe (avoid doing anything unnecessary and risky, take precautions, use masks and gloves, wash our hands, use glasses instead of contact lenses, don’t keep the shoes on after we went out)
  • Help out as much as we can (be it a donation, some good deed for our old neighbors or taking care of family members who are more at risk – but, most important of all, again – stay home)
  • Be patient, be brave and have hope.

Even though most are proving they can be smart and selfless, Italy has way too many people that still go out and about for reasons that are not a life or death necessity (people going out for a walk or a run or going to the grocery stores twice a day just to get out of the house and/or meet friends). I cannot express how dumb this is. Giving up some freedom today will save someone’s life, but they don’t care. They put their needs and feelings first and this is why, honestly, our numbers have been getting worse and might keep doing so for a while. This is also why not only people who get COVID-19 will be at risk but also everyone else who will need urgent care and won’t find a bed available, or will have to wait for the doctors and nurses to be available because hospitals and health workers are blowing up/being depleted.

I’m not writing this to discourage and scare any of you. Most of you live in countries where things are just starting to look bad or have not changed yet. I am sharing this because I hope none of you will underestimate the effects and side-effects as well as the total lockdown this virus is causing. And also so you know that, should you need any advice, I will be here to tell you everything I know and that I’ve learned from this experience so far.

But also, today is the first day of Spring and I want to look at the situation with a little hope. May spring bring better news and may we all stay safe, as well as our loved ones. May you get my virtual tight hug wherever you are, as I’m encouraging you and empathizing with you for how badly being alone and frightened sucks.

I’ll be here. As much as I can.

I also want to communicate to you that the SSC will go on if anyone will want to submit anything. You won’t risk any punishment for NOT submitting an entry, but writing might be a way for you (I hope it’ll be for me) to keep away nasty thoughts and keep busy to avoid feeling restless and “going insane”.

Best wishes to you all. Stay safe and let me know how you all are doing. Please.

Ellie

Ps. I know I haven’t answered to some comments and emails yet. I’ll get back to you asap. Thank you for your patience. 🙂

Goodbye 2019, welcome 2020!

I thought 2019 had sucked. When the last of the year came around, I was more than ready to say “go to hell, 2019!”.

I didn’t have great hopes for 2020, but, for me, the idea of leaving this past year behind was enough. 2019 was the year a person very dear to me, that I really care about, was diagnosed with a terminal disease. It was the year some family issues got worse and almost broke my family apart; the year most of my team at work was fired or left and I had to say goodbye. It was also the year my company almost “sold” me to a sister company for a higher, crazier and stressful role, while I was handling an important and incredibly complex client. It was the year that most pushed me close to wanting to scream at people and quit my job and realize that I am not and never will be “good enough”.

When December 31st rolled about, I was thinking of all this stuff and being eager to leave it behind. I felt like 2019 had left me nothing but pain, trouble and a lack of energies for all I love and care about.

While I was in the arms of the person above, I realized I was wrong.

Continue reading “Goodbye 2019, welcome 2020!”

Being a spankee is hard

Being a spankee, like most good things in life, is not just fun and games. It is hard.

Most of the time you are “born” with the kink, or have it within you since a very young age, so much so that you don’t even remember when it first happened that you felt those butterflies in your belly in relation to the S-word.

For me, it was Vhs. I would rewind a specific one just to watch over and over a scene from an old Jack Frost movie where a baby bear got his butt warmed for sneaking out of bed after being tucked in. That wasn’t the only “red flag”, just one of the earliest.

Continue reading “Being a spankee is hard”